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6个习惯会让孩子变笨 甚至抑郁

发布日期：2025-01-16 12:07:58编辑：秩名


 
　　从心理学的角度来说，孩子的智商是天生的，并且绝大部分孩子的智商没有太大差异(像爱因斯坦这样智商超群的人，在人群中的比例是极小的)。
 
　　可是为什么有的孩子看起来比较聪明，有的孩子却看起来很笨拙、没自信，甚至还有点抑郁呢?
 
　　这可能是家长惹的祸!我们的一些行为，会让原本聪明伶俐的孩子变成抑郁的“笨小孩”!（关注微信订阅号：朵妈亲子时光，聊聊亲子育儿那些事）
 
 
　　1、经常说孩子笨
 
　　你身边有那些经常说自己的孩子笨的家长吗?如果有，那他的孩子真有可能“如他所愿”，变得越来越笨!
 
　　因为，孩子对自己的认识受他人评价的影响很大，特别是自己最亲近的人，这种评价就是一种暗示，让孩子觉得自己就是这样一个人。
 
　　朵妈之前有个邻居，经常下班后对着孩子骂“你怎么这么笨呢?我生了一个废物!”隔着一道墙，我都能感受到孩子受到了一万点伤害。
 
　　据孩子的奶奶说，孩子上幼儿园后经常哭闹，画画、做手工都非常马虎。老师要求大家画一家三口，他画的都是一些乱七八糟的怪圈圈……
 
　　看到怪让人心疼的!希望所有的爸妈都不要对自己的孩子说这句话，“你真笨”这三个字真会像一个诅咒一样灵验。
 
　　2、家长太聪明、太勤快
 
　　还有一些家长，喜欢用自己的“聪明勤快”来帮助孩子解决问题。比如：
 
　　亲朋好友跟孩子打招呼了，孩子说话还不那么流利，反应较慢，家长这时就按捺不住了，上前替孩子回答!
 
　　看到孩子正在用稚拙的小手搭着积木，怎么搭都搭不好，家长看不过眼了，撸起袖子上前，哗哗哗几下子就帮孩子建成了一座高楼!
 
　　而实际上那些真的懂孩子的爸妈会知道，我们在孩子面前表现得笨一点、慢一点，更有利增强孩子的自信心，锻炼孩子解决问题的能力。
 
　　比如去商店买东西，我们可以给机会让孩子找到商品的位置，算出商品的价格。或者，吃饭的时候，让孩子来数数要多少个碗，多少双筷子。
 
　　越是有耐心的家长，越懂得“装笨”的家长，越有可能养出一个自信、聪明的孩子。
 
　　3、忽略陪伴的作用
 
　　在经济快速发展的年代，很多家长会牺牲陪伴孩子的时间，把更多的精力放在工作上(事实上有些家长并没那么忙，没有时间陪孩子是因为要“陪”手机)。
 
　　他们并不认为，少一点陪伴会对孩子的成长有什么负面影响，在他们看来“我努力赚钱就是为了让孩子有更好的生活、上更好的学校、有更高的起点!”
 
　　然而，你可知道再好的学校、老师，对孩子的影响都不如你的陪伴和教育重要?
 
　　孩子出生的头几年，对父母的依赖是最强的，这时候如果父母给予的陪伴和关注不够，孩子的安全感就有可能会受到影响，在陌生的环境里或遇到问题时，更容易感到焦虑不安。
 
　　而那些内心安全感满满的孩子，更少有紧张焦虑的体验，就算暂时解决不了问题，也敢大胆地向周围人求助。
 
　　你希望自己的孩子是哪一种类型呢?
 
　　4、父母没有学习、阅读的习惯
 
　　朵妈一直觉得，孩子上不上早教班并没有那么重要，但父母是否有阅读的习惯、有没有经常陪孩子阅读学习，这就很重要了!
 
　　父母是孩子的第一任老师，也是孩子终身的老师。父母学习、阅读的习惯，会对孩子产生巨大的影响。
 
　　知名教育家苏霍姆林斯基说过：“缺乏阅读能力，将会阻碍和抑制脑的极其细微的连接性纤维的可塑性，使他们不能顺利地保证神经元之间的联系。”
 
　　想让孩子更聪明，那就跟孩子一起学习阅读吧!这不仅能让孩子更聪明，还能让孩子得到书籍的滋养、文化的熏陶、培养孩子的注意力、想象力……
 
　　总之，亲子共读的好处太多了!如果你有阅读的习惯，那你的孩子肯定不会差到哪里去!
 
　　5、强迫孩子学习，不允许玩耍
 
　　有的家长，把“玩耍”看作是不思进取的表现，认为孩子太贪玩就会影响学习。然而，一个只会学习不会玩耍的孩子，ta的生活该多么的无趣?
 
　　别限制孩子玩耍的自由!游戏是儿童的天性，世界上很多著名的幼儿园对幼儿教育所秉持的宗旨就是“玩”，这不仅能让孩子在快乐的氛围中学到许多生活技能，增长孩子的交际能力，还能培养孩子的想象能力，思维能力!
 
　　爱玩的孩子，对生活总是保持着好奇心，当ta把这种探索的精神投入到学习中来，你还愁ta的学习成绩不好?
 
　　6、不允许孩子哭
 
　　“不许哭!”
 
　　当孩子的眼泪在眼眶里打转了，你会对ta说出这三个字吗?
 
　　会?偶尔会?还是经常都这样?
 
　　孩子哭闹之所以会让很多大人感到纠结焦虑，是因为他们觉得孩子一旦哭了，他们就对孩子失去了控制力，这种失控的慌张感使得他们希望孩子马上安静下来!
 
　　然而，如果你尝试着去允许孩子哭，跟他说“想哭就哭吧，哭完你会舒服很多的。”你会发现孩子哭完之后整个人都舒坦了很多。（关注微信订阅号：朵妈亲子时光，聊聊亲子育儿那些事）
 
　　那些被允许哭的孩子，会对自己的情绪有更理性的认识，每一次的情绪体验，都是一次成长。
 
　　相反，要是内心积聚的不安、愤怒没有发泄出来，孩子可能会变得更抑郁、易怒。这样的小孩，看起来自然就不再是一个开朗的聪明小孩了!
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