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有以下3个特征的孩子,长大后多半不孝顺,可惜很多父母不知道

发布日期:2024-08-23 03:24:12编辑:网络收集

现代社会,越来越多的年轻父母养育孩子,已逐渐摆脱了传统的“养儿防老”的观念。但是这并不代表他们不期待自己的孩子长大后孝顺。

“孝道”是家庭幸福、社会稳定、世界和谐的根本,是中华民族的传统美德。它不仅体现了人们对生命之源的感恩,更体现了一个人的成熟与责任

苏轼在写给好友丁谓孩子的一段教子启示《小儿诀》中写道:一岁定生风,二岁定生性。三岁看个真,四五六遍基。意思就是儿童一两岁形成气质,两三岁开始显露性情,四五六岁奠定根基。

一个孩子未来是否孝顺?其实在小的时候,就能看出端倪。

日常生活中有以下表现的孩子,长大后不孝顺的概率相对较大,父母一定要注意了!

1)爱吃独食

我曾在一次聚会上,看到过一个孩子,一上桌,就先扫一眼桌上有哪些好吃的,然后把喜欢的菜放到自己面前,然后大声对周围人说:“这是我的,你们不要跟我抢。”

最后聚餐快结束时,他即使吃不完,一个稍微比他大些的孩子想尝尝,父母跟他要,他也拒绝分享,并要求打包带回家明天继续吃。

吃独食,是一种自私自利的行为,反映出孩子不懂家人间互相照顾和分享,无法融入家庭关系,缺乏同甘共苦奉献精神和同理心。

这类孩子往往以自我为中心,长大后会把自己的利益放在第一位,很难主动承担家庭责任,分担父母压力,孝顺父母。

2)爱说:“关我什么事儿”

妈妈:“儿子,帮爸爸把衬衣拿给我一下,我给洗了。”

儿子:“关我什么事儿,又不是我的衣服。”

妈妈:“儿子,家里垃圾筐怎么倒了?”

儿子:“关我什么事儿,又不是我踢倒的!”

……

只要爸爸妈妈或者他人说的事,和他没有关系,“关我什么事儿”就会被他挂在嘴上。

“关我什么事儿”,这句话本身就有一种撇清责任的意思,也可以用来表达自己与某件事毫无关联的意思。

平时有些事情和自己无关,孩子偶尔说一两次这句话也无可厚非。但是如果这种推卸责任的语言一旦被习惯化,成为一个孩子的“口头禅”之后,意义就不一样了。

他会让人觉得这个孩子是一个没有担当,只考虑自己,不顾他人感受,缺乏同理心、责任感,自私自利的人。

一个缺乏责任心、同理心同时又自私自利的人,长大后很难重视父母的需求,体谅父母的辛劳,主动承担起照顾父母的义务和责任的。

3)不关心父母感受

小孩子不懂关心父母的感受,也许只会被人说贪玩不懂事,但是如果成年了,还是不关心父母的感受,那就是绝对的不孝了。

以前看过一个故事,至今记忆犹新。说的是一个22岁的女儿,母亲被查出宫颈癌,要动手术,所以临住院前叮嘱女儿记得出去吃饭。

但是女儿头都没抬一下,边玩手机,边向小姨抱怨外面天气热,出去吃饭太热也会被晒黑!

妈妈无奈,小姨看不下去,骂她没良心,亲妈生病住院,不知道陪着,反而还各种抱怨。说完就拉着姐姐头也不回的出门了。

孝顺需要付出和奉献,这类只考虑自己,不顾父母感受的孩子,根本无法理解父母的内心世界及情感需求,也无法在父母有需要时给予支持,更不会在日常生活中细致体贴父母

当然,除了以上三点,可以看出孩子未来不孝的端倪还有很多,比如爱跟父母顶嘴,任性,自私等,但是总结下来,根本原因无非就是两点,一:缺乏责任心;二:缺乏同理心。

孝顺父母是对一个人最基本道德的考验,是行走社会的重要基石,作为父母,如果你发现孩子有些不好言行的端倪,一定要及时的引导改正。

1)以身作则

著名心理学家M·斯科特·派克说:“孩子会情不自禁地模仿父母,拷贝父母的处世方式,将它视为人生的标准和榜样。”

孩子的孝心最主要的来源就是父母,父母的言传身教,胜过千言万语,对孩子的成长有着莫大影响!

父母常在孩子面前践行孝道,比如照顾好长辈的起居,重视长辈的意见,主动照看生病的父母,不与长辈发生争执,定期给父母打电话安慰,邀父母到家做客等,让孩子从小见证自己对长辈的孝心和行动,孩子长大后自然就会学着父母的样子,践行孝道。

2)培养孩子的同理心

同理心是一个心理学上的概念,它的意思是一个人要想真正了解别人,就要站在别人的角度看问题。也就是人们在日常生活中经常提到的设身处地、将心比心的做法。

同理心是观察他人感受的能力,一个孩子如果没有同理心,就只会考虑自己的感受,不会关心父母的所思所想,无法理解父母的付出和辛劳,更无法设身处地的为父母着想,在父母需要时给予支持和帮助。

孩子缺乏同理心,不仅会长大后不孝顺父母,在社交生活中也会因为无法正常回应别人的感受,被人定义为冷血、无情无义,影响社交。

培养孩子的同理心需要家长的引导和社会的浸润,关键在于启发孩子设身处地的为他人着想。父母可以尝试从以下几个方面着手:

  • 以身作则,经常设身处地为孩子和他人着想,向孩子示范同理心;
  • 和孩子一起阅读富有同理心的故事,并且与其一起讨论不同人物的感受;
  • 带孩子去参加一些关心弱势群体的活动,如儿童福利院、残疾人士等;
  • 让孩子参与家务劳动,体会父母的不容易,理解父母对他及家庭的付出;
  • 当孩子出现以自我为中心的行为时,及时指出其行为后果,启发其换位思考;
  • 面对孩子的错误,耐心倾听孩子的想法,而非简单粗暴的责备孩子的错误;

3)培养孩子的责任感

责任心是履行义务的一种品质,一个人,有了责任心,才更成熟稳重,有自立精神,也更容易赢得他人的信任和尊重。才能承担起应尽的家庭义务,成为一个称职的家庭成员。

由于计划生育导致独生子女比例偏高,教育体制过分强调学业成绩,社会竞争压力大、家长过度溺爱等原因,很多父母忽视孩子的品格培养,导致责任心缺失。

责任心缺乏的孩子,成年后不仅无法在家庭中承担应尽的责任,导致家庭不睦。还会养成逃避和推诿的恶习,在家庭、事业和生活中失去他人的信任,难以发展事业,也很难成为一个称职的父母。

培养孩子的责任心,是一个循序渐进的过程,除了要父母以身作则给孩子做好榜样,还需注意以下几点:

  • 日常生活中,给孩子足够的自主权,让其学会规划生活和时间,并承担后果;
  • 根据孩子的年龄和能力,给予孩子分配适当的责任和任务,有必要时,帮助孩子分解大任务为小目标,从小目标做起培养孩子的责任感。
  • 孩子较小的时候,任务应以家务为主,慢慢过渡到学习、社交等责任。
  • 当孩子完成任务或者有了进步后,给予适当的表扬和积极的反馈,鼓励他们继续保持,而不单单是物质奖励;
  • 尊重孩子,让孩子参与到家庭中的决策中来,让他体会到参与感和被重视的感觉;
  • 当孩子做错事时,给孩子合理的惩罚,让其承担相应后果;
  • 和孩子沟通,让其明白责任的重要性和完成任务的成就感。

【写给家长的话】

随着社会竞争压力越来越大,家长也变得越来越卷,大多时候都只想着如何才能提升孩子的学习成绩,而忽略了孩子的品格教育。

长大后不孝的孩子,往小里说会让长辈伤心失望、生活无依、健康受损。往大里说会破坏家庭团结和睦,误导青少年的价值观,降低社会道德水准,失去传承正面价值观的正能量。

孩子时期形成的性格、品质以及行为模式会延续到成年!作为父母,需要及早看出孩子不孝的端倪,并加以引导,帮孩子纠正过来!

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