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隔代教育的42条对策之1-10条

发布日期：2014-01-04 10:57:33编辑：Chen

 越来越多的年轻父母认为，由老人带孩子不是最佳选择。必竟隔代教育会出现很多问题，尤其是教育观念，和年轻人大不一样。溺爱孩子是老人最常犯的大忌，为此很多家长都认同一个观念：千万不要让老人带孩子，老人带孩子虽能给自己减轻负担，但对于孩子的健康成长却十分不利。

家长所说的上述现象和观点应该说都是事实，都没有错，但现实条件往往不允许我们按自己的意愿行事。毕竟社会的发展越来越快，生活的脚步越来越急，忙事业、忙应酬、忙加班、忙出差……种种事务让大多数年轻的父母根本没有时间和精力来带孩子，因此带孩子的任务别无选择地落在了孩子的爷爷奶奶、外公外婆身上。这样就给很多父母造成了既无奈又矛盾的心理。

其实，我们完全不必无奈和矛盾。家长对隔代教育的排斥源于对这种教育方式的认识不全面，他们只看到了弊端，却没有看到优势，因此就更谈不上充分利用隔代教育的优势了。

谁说爷爷奶奶带不好孩子？祖辈带孙子，其实好处多着呢：俗话说，“老小孩，小小孩”，老人大多都有童心，能理解孩子的幼稚行为，并和孩子建立融洽的关系；在养育方面，老人具有更丰富的实践经验，可以提前预料到孩子在什么年龄会出现什么问题，并充分预防；对年龄幼小的孩子来说，他最需要的是亲人的长时间陪伴和安全感，而老人恰恰有足够的时间为孩子创造幸福感和安全感；老人的“隔代亲”能使孩子感受到比父母之爱更浓烈的关爱；让老人看孩子还能使父母安心、踏实地去干工作、干事业……

总之，隔代教育的好处其实并不比弊端少，但很多家庭却没有好好利用。因此，我们说，在失败的隔代教育中，真正的错不在老人，更不在孩子，而在父母——父母没有为老人开展良好的教育创造有利条件，没有引导老人发挥自己的优势。

隔代教育一般分为两种形式：一种是父母在外地工作，不在孩子身边，孩子的生活由老人全权负责；另一种是父母和老人生活在一起，共同养育孩子。但是，无论哪种形式，父母都要承担主要的教育责任，父母才是教育孩子的主体，老人只能是辅助。如果与孩子分隔两地的父母只因为不能常见到孩子，就让老人全权负责，不去关注孩子的教育，不和老人就孩子的生活、成长进行沟通、交流，就是不称职的父母。

因此我们说，在存在隔代教育的家庭中，孩子的父母不仅有时刻关注、教导孩子的责任，还有为老人和孩子创造良好的家庭关系、温馨和谐的家庭气氛，引导老人走出教育误区，正确施教、发挥其积极作用的责任。

如何让老人发现自己的教育失误？如何提醒老人而不伤害其感情？如何让老人主动学习各种教育理论，树立先进的教育理念？如何营造和谐美满的家庭氛围？如何让老人对孩子宽严相济、张弛有度？这些问题，在下面都能找到答案。

1.孩子的事到底谁说了算？——以父母为主，以老人为辅

教育孩子是每一个家庭的大事，爸爸妈妈、爷爷奶奶、外公外婆，每一颗心都牵挂孩子，每一双手都呵护孩子。毛泽东曾说，人多好办事。在全家齐参与的情况下，孩子得到了精心的照顾。但是，人多矛盾也多。虽然大家都是为了孩子，但是各人的经验、判断、做法不一样，很容易产生矛盾。比如，妈妈觉得孩子应该吃清淡的饭菜，而老人认为盐吃少了人就没有力气；父母想给孩子请一个家庭教师，让孩子的学习更好，而老人认为不能把孩子累着了。这时，谁说了算呢？

当孩子拥有判断能力的时候，这些问题很容易解决——听孩子的。但在孩子还不懂得作出选择时，应该由父母做主，老人提供参考意见。养育孩子是父母不可推卸的责任，这包含两层意思，一是“养”，二是“育”。“养”仅仅指孩子的身体发育，属于物质层面，因此父母和老人都能够胜任。而“育”属于精神领域，在这一点上，由父母亲自教育，更能培养出品格优秀的孩子。这是为什么呢？

优秀的品格含义丰富，自信、诚实、宽容、独立、谦虚、有爱心、有责任感，等等，都属于优秀的品格。很多老人都具有这些优秀品格，但他们非常溺爱孩子，使孩子错过了形成优秀品格的关键时期。

尤其在隔代教育家庭里，隔代亲的现象十分普遍，老人溺爱孩子的情况最为严重，他们爱孙子孙女远远胜于爱子女——孩子要什么就买什么，想吃什么就做什么，想去哪里玩就陪着去，甚至为孩子护短。这种教育丝毫没有考虑孩子在身体营养、心灵成长等各方面的合理需求，导致孩子不能全面发展。中国人口宣传教育中心曾在广州举行“中国宝宝纪录”评选活动新闻发布会。
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