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倚床私语 夫妻睡前聊点儿什么

发布日期：2024-07-27 13:52:16编辑：秩名


　　晚上睡觉前，是彼此放松的好时机，而同床共枕的夫妻，都在聊些什么呢?
 
　　恋爱时，满眼的你侬我侬，睡前更是耳鬓厮磨春光一片;结婚，怀孕，生孩子，从此成为彼此熟悉的依靠，这个时候，夫妻间都在聊些什么呢?也许你们整天忙于工作、家务、带孩子，柴米油盐吃喝拉撒已经耗费的心力全无。可是，结婚后的夫妻，每个人都是一个独立的个体，双方都有倾诉和倾听的需求。
 

　　1. 尽量保持睡觉时间一致

 
　　“睡前聊什么”，这句子有三个关键词：睡前、聊、什么。
 
　　首先你们得差不多时间上床睡觉，比如，曾经有个闺蜜跟我抱怨：自己好不容易哄睡了孩子，然后躺在床上刷刷朋友圈、看看八卦剧，没过多久就掀开被子睡着了;可这时候老公在干啥?人家要么在看球赛，要么在玩游戏，叫他冲凉他都懒得动。
 
　　所以对于他们来说，睡前时间是错开的，累了一天的闺蜜甚至都不知道老公是何时上床的，更何谈“聊什么”呢?
 
　　对此种情况的建议是：尽量双方沟通一下，最好能做到同时上床睡觉，或差不多时间，这样也可避免打扰对方睡眠，还能增加交流时间。在如今的快节奏重压力生活下，夫妻的有效交流确实很少，所以——各位爸比妈咪们，当孩子睡了，也请你们尽量保持睡觉时间一致，享受睡前交流时光。

　　2. 谁来打开睡前的沉默?

 
　　当拥有了共同的睡前时光后，聊天的前提条件具备了。那么接下来就是“谁先开口”，很多夫妻都已经习惯了各干各的，尽量保持睡觉时间一致，只是为了不打扰对方。也许双方都没有觉察到对方有说话的欲望。那么，这时候谁来打破睡前的沉默?
 
　　开口真的那么难吗?和TA的沟通曾经不是那么美妙吗?每天只要睡前的一点时间，十分钟也好，半小时也罢，放下手机或iPad，用心倾听对方讲述并给出积极的回应。回忆也好、憧憬也罢;讲笑话、聊八卦;吐槽工作、规划未来;最近读了什么书?看了什么电影?想去哪里旅行?然后开心地相拥而眠，这样的婚姻里，怎一个好字了得?
 
　　但是，前提是有一方主动开口，丢出聊天的橄榄枝，其实只要有一方率先打破沉默，聊起来是很容易的事儿。
 

　　3. 到底聊点儿什么

 
　　再说聊什么的问题。夫妻睡前私语，完全是即兴创作，一般不会打腹稿，如果要先想想聊什么再说，八成还没想好就已经睡着了，聊不成。所以，聊什么，看自己的兴致所至和临场发挥。
 
　　至于聊天后果也立竿见影：聊得好，至少可以保证一夜的好心情好睡眠;聊不好，就生气伤心做恶梦吧。
 
　　因此，虽然说“聊什么”是临场发挥，率性而为，它仍然是个技术活儿。这个，也不用学别人怎么做。从恋爱到结婚，夫妻双方对彼此的了解不得不说是深刻。有的人习惯睡前来个晚安吻，说声我爱你。可是有的人就偏偏不习惯这一套。关心对方所关心的，说自己想倾诉的，自然就有话聊。
 
　　夜半私语也与传统文化一样源远流长：在天愿作比翼鸟，在地愿为连理枝，那是痴话;何当共剪西窗烛，却话巴山夜雨时，那是闲话。痴话也好闲话也罢，看上去百无聊赖，品一品情深意浓，这是自古以来夜半私语的范本，也是我等俗世男女婚姻生活的理想。

　　4、夫妻愉快聊天的基本原则

 
　　要想有一个愉快的睡前聊天时光，有一些基本原则务必要注意的，当然这也是夫妻关系中长期适用的。或许当萌妹子还没有成为“某太、某某妈妈”，排队有人约会的时候，小女人的任性、自我、蛮横都是可以原谅和完全包容的。但在长期的夫妻关系中，起码的尊重和平等是十分重要的。
 
　　• 聊天不是吵架，别想着控制对方想法，求同存异很重要;
 
　　• 鼓励和表扬永远不过时，赞扬的话谁都爱听;
 
　　• 倾听对方比主动倾诉其实更难，给对方留点时间说话;
 
　　• 坦诚很重要，夫妻之间还遮遮掩掩势必有矛盾;
 
　　• 尊重隐私，对方不想聊的话题别揪着不放;
 
　　• 身体言语有时候有意想不到的效果。
 
　　其实夫妻聊天何止这么点原则，人已经是如此复杂的动物，男人女人又各自有着不一样的思考方式，走到一起，互相依靠，携手前进，那是对彼此无比的信赖和支持。当每一对夫妻满怀信心的许下一生的承诺，谁都不会想着有一天会无话可说。但是生活的确这么残酷，身边的很多夫妻，包括网上的各种调查数据都显示：很多夫妻结婚时间越久交流时间越少。
 
　　好好利用睡前的美妙时光，每天和TA一起聊一聊，随便什么事儿，尽情倾诉，耐心倾听，这样的婚姻，冷漠又怎会有可趁之机?
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