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夫妻性和谐 说说同房那些事儿

发布日期：2024-07-14 11:05:46编辑：秩名


　健康和谐的性生活是婚姻中的主打节目，甚至数可以诠释每对夫妻婚姻的质量和内涵。换言之，要维持天长地久的婚姻，缺少和谐、充满快乐和激情的性生活是难以想象的。在心理学家、婚姻咨询工作者、社会机构、医生和律师的调查报告中，均将性生活问题排列在其他夫妻生活问题的首位。
 

　　1、夫妻和谐，性生活很重要

 
　　据有关人员调查表明，造成家庭生活不和睦的因素很多，但夫妻性生活的不协调则在造成夫妻矛盾的诸多因素中占了近50%的比例。性生活是夫妻生活的重要组成部分，是人类生存和繁衍的需要，有了和谐的性生活，夫妻才能感情融洽，家庭才能和睦。反之，不和谐的性生活会引起夫妻双方性功能障碍，造成感情破裂，甚至导致离婚悲剧的发生。
 
　　任何一对夫妻，不管是青年夫妻、中年夫妻、还是老年夫妻，都希望获得夫妻性生活的和谐。因为，和谐、适度、科学的生生活能使夫妻双方保持良好的精神状态，增加感情，促进家庭的幸福。有人说，夫妻之间的性生活是和谐是爱情的升华，宛如幸福生活的花朵，又似一曲美妙的乐章，此话一点不假。
 
　　一份对国人性生活频率的调查显示，近一年内约9.4%的夫妻没有或仅有几次性生活，每月只有1-2次的为19.7%，在性交前没有任何亲昵动作而直奔“主题”的达34.8%。尽管夫妻性生活频率不能完全表明他们的性关系，但不论怎么说，这个调查说明夫妻间缺少应有的“性趣”，已成为现代婚姻中的一个阴影。
 
　　丈夫下班后，泡在酒馆、麻将桌前久久不愿回家；妻子整晚与电视机为伴，迟迟不肯上床；性生活成为一种程序、惯例、权利和义务……一切看来都很平常，日子在照样地过，但夫妻生活因缺少“性趣”，变得乏味和彼此厌倦。
 
　　夫妻间的惊喜和新奇不再产生，彼此关爱程度降低，性生活质量下降，连那生活中最美好、最动人的一瞬也变得索然无味。也许是婚后的朝夕相处和油盐酱醋，也许丈夫的不修边幅，妻子的唠唠叨叨，等等，磨损了原有的激情，淡化了夫妻间的性交流。
 
 

　　2、坦诚相待，性要有交流才完美

 
　　性生活是指为了满足自己性需要的固定或不固定的性接触，包括拥抱、接吻、爱抚、性交等，性生活不限于性交。性生活的不和谐使夫妻日夜苦恼，轻者互相抱怨，重者打官司离婚。那么，怎样才能使性生活和谐呢？
 
 
 
　　• 性和谐筑建在牢固的爱情和感情
 
　　爱情和感情是夫妻间吸引的动力，是性和谐先决条件，缺乏爱情和感情的生活不可能和谐。夫妻双方心理平衡，互相信任，真诚相爱，是性生活和谐的首要心理因素。
 
　　需明确的是，每一次的性生活，不论是由哪一方提出要求，均是完全正常的，但进行性生活是必须夫妻双方均是自愿的。过性生活，夫妻双方并无主从之分，不能认为“妻子必须满足丈夫”，也不能认为“丈夫必须满足妻子”，夫妻双方更不能抱“应付”态度。综上所述，和谐的性生活来自于牢固的爱情和感情，这是非常重要的。
 
　　• 温馨环境，增加性生活情调
 
　　夫妻双方的性生活是合法的，文明的。性生活应该在适宜的环境进行，如卧室应该安静，少有干扰，白天有窗帘使室内光线柔和，晚间应用度数小灯光。床铺应舒适，床上用品要干净，尽量选用自己喜爱的款式和颜色，适宜的环境为性交前的爱抚创造条件，是性生活和谐的重要条件之一。
 
　　• 掌握性生活规律，相互体贴配合
 
　　已知男女的性感受有明显差异，要想达到男女性和谐，必须解决“男强女弱，男快女慢”的不平衡。
 
　　通常女性的性冲动处于潜伏状态，男性理应调动女性性欲，做好性交前的爱抚准备，夫妻双方要采用温柔的语言，甜蜜的亲吻，亲密的拥抱，轻柔抚摸女性阴蒂、乳房、乳头等性敏感区，充分利用视觉、听觉、触觉，激发女性性欲启动，使女性动情，待女性有性交要求后再进行，使男女能够同时或相继达到性高潮。男性射精后处于消退期要继续拥抱女性一段时间，充分爱抚，相互交谈，使女性获得心理满足。
 
　　在生活中，夫妻们应该懂得，一个人不能只想索取而不想奉献。其实在性关系中也是如此，在竭诚向伴侣提供乐趣的同时，提供者自己也必然乐在其中，很多人很看重自己使伴侣获得满足的能力，男子特别容易走向极端，这种“责任心”太强往往使他们陷入困境。
 
　　男女双方都不能指责对方没有为自己做什么，而应首先考虑自己为对方做了些什么。只有处理好奉献与索取的关系，双方的性关系才会融洽和美满。
 

　　3、张弛有度，不一味追求次数

 
　　其实，“性趣”不但是一种感觉，更是一种习惯，搁置久了，会变得荒疏和陌生。根据双方身体状况、心境等方面情况，要有规律地过好性生活，进行性交流，讲求性技巧，并使之成为一种习惯、一种需求、一种夫妻间沟通的主要形式和生活的一部分。
 
产后被上环 妈咪竟然毫不知情
图片来源于华盖
 
　　当然，夫妻之间的“性趣”，形式是多样的，比如夫妻间的相拥依偎，紧握对方的手，在一起静静地休憩……这样即使不发生性行为，却可以通过肌肤之亲不断地把柔情和爱意传递，从而能够得到心理上的慰藉，圆满地维持正常的夫妻关系，使婚姻这桌“大餐”回味无穷。
 
　　• 关于最佳性爱时间：至今尚无统一说法
 
　　多数学者认为性生活最好选择在晚间入睡之前进行，以便能有充分恢复体力的时间。但也有学者提出，入睡前正是全日工作后身体最疲乏之时，但选择清晨起床前进行性生活，确实不适宜。因性生活之后必然感到疲劳，可能会影响白天的工作效率和学习效果。
 
　　许多人都是在入睡前进行，这样影响睡眠较轻。夜间进行双方往往不能同步。会影响睡眠。一般不宜在次日清晨进行，性生活后双方往往都需要休息，性生活后上班会影响精力。
 
　　• 关于最佳性爱次数：至今虽尚无统一标准
 
　　性生活的次数应该适当掌握，至今虽尚无统一标准，且年龄差异很大，但应以性生活次日夫妻双方均不感到疲倦为原则，甚至觉得身心舒适，精神愉快，表明性生活的次数是适度的。
 
　　不同年龄的性生活多少次为合适，并不能机械地规定。一般以过性生活的第二天不出现明显的疲劳、精神萎靡、腰酸乏力等现象，不影响工作和学习为原则，主要根据个体的年龄、体质、性格等因素来决定。人们要注意的是不要单纯追求性交的次数，同时还要力求使每次性交都要达到完美的程度，一次完美的性交比两次不完美的性交更令人满足。
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