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孩子爱磨蹭 你说究竟是谁的错

发布日期：2025-01-14 16:12:49编辑：秩名

 
　　闺蜜刚拿驾照没几个月，所以平时上路都是开得很慢。并且她最怕的就是在路上被人催的感觉，她说自己本来就不熟练，一催就更紧张，有几次甚至直接熄火了。这着实让我们笑话了一阵子。后来，她干脆在车尾贴上「越催越慢，再催熄火」的标语，结果情况真的就改善多了~
 
　　之所以举这个例子，也是最近被朋友A吐槽孩子吃饭、上学、做事各种磨蹭时说给她听的，“你看，人在面对催促时，哪怕是成年人，第一时间升腾起的情绪都不是平静接受，而是紧张、反抗、拒绝。更何况是孩子呢?你越是催，他可能越是慢!”
 
　　一
 
　　究竟是孩子慢，还是你性子急?
 
　　关于父母对孩子的催促，真的是随时可以听见，可有时候真未必是孩子的问题：
 
　　“快点写作业去，暑期都快过完了，你还不慌不忙……”
 
　　(ps：其实，那时候也就刚放暑假半个月)
 
　　“快点穿好衣服，拿好书包，校车都在楼下等你了……”
 
　　(ps：其实，那时候校车还有一站距离)
 
　　“快点睡觉，你明天还要去补习班，这次的钢琴课可不能再落下了……”
 
　　(ps：想想如果大家在你睡前提醒你明天是周一，你大概就明白孩子现在的心情了)
 
　　“赶紧吃饭，吃完饭赶紧做作业、画画、弹琴……”
 
　　(ps:虽然这些功课是得做，但是在吃饭前就让孩子想着还有后面的一!大!堆!待完成事项，你觉得他还有食欲?就算有食欲，你觉得他不会为了再拖延一下，故意慢慢吃饭?他慢慢吃饭，你是不是又该着急唠叨了?如果你这样催促你认为的「做事拖拉」的孩子，那么这将会是个死循环!)
 
　　“快点跑，地铁马上就要关门了，错过了这趟可能就要迟到了……”
 
　　(ps：明明知道门就要关了，就为了不迟到拉着孩子往里挤?且不说这种行为教育本身存在问题，就这危险程度不比迟到来得让人更紧张?)
 
　　……
 
　　我们总是希望孩子按照自己的想法、自己的节奏行事。但其实，成年人和孩子的生活节奏、生理节奏以及生命节奏本身就是大不相同的。强制要求的后果，只会让孩子质疑自己的生活节奏，认为是自己出了问题，要么逐渐认同父母而变成一个同样焦虑的人，要么以一种极为拖沓的方式生活，以这种被动拖沓的方式表达对父母的愤怒。
 
　　并且，如果孩子的生活节奏过快，也会影响其身体的激素分泌，对身体和心理都会造成损害。更何况有时候，真的只是我们自己内心的一种紧迫感和使命感在「作祟」。所以，当家长非常紧张某件事但孩子却没有丝毫意识的时候，我们不妨停下来，想想究竟是孩子慢，还是你性子急?
 
 
 
　　二
 
　　对待爱磨蹭的孩子，教育要有道
 
　　1、分清大人的节奏和孩子的节奏
 
　　大人总是希望孩子能够「自律」，但常常混淆了自律的标准，把大人的标准定为孩子的标准。比如，大人觉得自己吃饭只需要十几分钟，也希望孩子能够在这个时间段吃完，当孩子没有达到这个要求的时候，父母觉得孩子太磨蹭，也因孩子打乱了自己的节奏而感到心烦意乱，反过来打乱孩子的节奏。
 
　　若是这种情况，父母要调整自己的心态，允许并适应孩子的慢节奏，一起探索和谐的生活。
 
　　2、变催促为提醒
 
　　催促会给孩子压迫感，让孩子感到好像是在被控制、被指责，而善意的提醒会让孩子感到如春风拂面，更愿意接受。
 
　　并且催促在频率上类似与唠叨，反复强调一件事情，也会让孩子感到厌烦，而善意的提醒，往往是点到为止，只说一次，故不会让孩子太反感。
 
　　所以，父母偶尔不妨变催促为提醒，给孩子一个缓冲期，同时给孩子传递温暖、信任的感觉。比如说：“还有10分钟的时间，我们就要出门了，你要在10分钟之内要吃完早餐哦。”
 
　　3、帮助孩子了解时间的概念
 
　　孩子年龄小，对时间概念很模糊，平常只听到妈妈说“时间不够了，快点!”但根本不知道5分钟是多长时间，半个小时又是多长时间。
 
　　若是这种情况，父母首先要有意识的帮助一下孩子掌握时间概念，比如让他知道1分钟是大概是他们去卫生间小便的时间，半个小时是爸爸妈妈看新闻联播从开始到结束的时间。
 
　　4、帮助孩子合理规划一下时间
 
　　比如去上学，可以和孩子讨论一下，起床洗漱和吃饭要多长时间，路上要留多长时间，我们最少要在什么时候起床，最迟要在什么时候出门。
 
　　5、试着让孩子自己承担责任
 
　　适当的让孩子承担自己行为后果，更能让孩子收获经验。比如，因迟到，被老师批评或处罚;因拖延，错过了得到某些东西的机会等。让孩子受点小挫折，更能让他明白和记住。
 
　　催促孩子，是生活中是一种现象，它能从一定程度上帮助孩子适应外部世界。但家长们也要明白，催促也要讲究方法，否则只会适得其反哟~
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