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家境好=有教养?事实并非如此

发布日期：2024-11-13 18:18:12编辑：秩名


 
　　很多人认为孩子的教养和家境有很大的关系，一般家境好的孩子，会接受到更好的教养条件，素质自然会更高，但有时我们看到却不是这样：
 
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　　有一次在餐厅吃饭，旁边吵闹的一家六口一进来，餐厅的说话声分贝都高了不少，大人一会儿让服务员拿个餐牌来，一会儿让服务员拿双筷子来。孩子爬上爬下，磕磕碰碰，搞得邻桌都无法正常用餐，刚端上一杯果汁，弄得到处都是
 
　　孩子妈穿得光鲜亮丽，翘着二郎腿，叫服务员来收拾，但正是用餐高峰期，服务员来得比较慢，孩子妈不高兴了，大声呵斥：“你们这破餐厅怎么做事的啊?让你清理个果汁都这么难?我是花了钱来你们这消费的……”blabla一大堆。
 
 
　　服务员低着头，默默接受客人的批评，热闹的餐厅似乎一下安静了许多，客人们开始嘟嚷，觉得这样做有点过分了。令人吃惊的是，小孩也过来帮腔，对着服务员大声喊：“你说你是怎么做事的?”这孩子顶多才6岁的模样!
 
　　虽说顾客是上帝，但因为一点小事影响了整个餐厅的人用餐，未免有点小题大做了。
 
　　与之形成鲜明对比的是，餐厅另一边坐着普通的一家四口，安安静静吃完后，两个孩子乖乖捡起餐桌上的垃圾，跟在大人后面，排着队去放餐盘。
 
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　　不得不认同这样一句话：教养跟穷富无关，飞机头等舱上也有没教养的行为，偏远乡村田埂上的人们也知道礼义廉耻。虽说我们没有必要将“人见人爱”作为培养孩子的标准，但是给孩子灌输起码的教养和礼仪却非常必要。
 
　　荷兰是一个自由、开放的社会，对人的包容度很高，但是对孩子的教养却看得非常重要，幼儿园对每一个孩子的要求是：无论是对事还是对人，首先要相互尊重和理解，绝对不容忍散漫无理。如果一个孩子在幼儿园耍赖，不听规劝，屡教不改，老师会根据规定让家长把孩子接回家，直到孩子学会了遵守规则，才能重新入园学习。
 
　　家庭对一个人的影响是深入到骨子里去的，一个被骄纵惯的孩子，难以融入周围环境。家长无度的纵容，无法陪着孩子一直走进社会。相反，一个有教养的人，会更容易适应社会的规则，被社会所接受。人是社会性动物，一个缺乏教养的孩子，在打扰别人的同时，最终伤害的是自己。
 
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　　让孩子成为一个有教养的人，是每个家长的必修课，孩子的教养从小就要开始抓了。在这方面，有哪些东西需要注意的呢?
 
　　1）不要总给孩子开脱
 
　　很多家长在孩子犯错之后，喜欢帮孩子推脱：“别计较那么多，他还是个孩子!”实际上正因为他还是个孩子，才需要你的引导。再小的孩子，也要慢慢形成正确的是非观。孩子犯错了，不要总给孩子开脱，让孩子学会自己道歉，为自己的行为买单，孩子才会慢慢意识到这样做是不对的。
 
　　2）形成“边界”、“规则”概念
 
　　帮助孩子形成“边界”概念，让孩子知道自己和他人是有界限的，别人的东西不能乱动，别人说话的时候不能插嘴，随意打扰他人是不礼貌的行为。另外，在不同的场合，要遵守不同的规则，别把所有的地方都当成自己的家，为所欲为、蛮不讲理只会招来他人的愤怒和指责。
 
　　3）不把麻烦留给别人
 
　　日本有一种文化，叫做“不给别人添麻烦”。比如不小心把水洒在了地铁座位上，要及时擦干净，这样下一位乘客就不会觉得麻烦了。虽然不这么做，别人也不知道你是谁，但这些细节恰恰体现了一个人的素质。学会不把麻烦留给别人，是最能体现教养的可贵之处。
 
　　4）家长本身要有教养
 
　　父母是孩子的启蒙老师，一言一行都被孩子模仿着。一个人教养的养成，首先取决于家风的影响。家长说得再好听，也不如亲身给孩子做示范。所以想要孩子成为一个有教养的人，自己要先从小事做起，否则你拿什么来说服自己的孩子?
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