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如何顺利帮助宝宝度过敏感期？这样做巧妙度过！

发布日期：2024-07-25 14:38:43编辑：秩名


尊重宝宝的“完美情结”

 
不知从何时起，忽然发现宝宝对“完美”有了一份执着的追求：饼干碎了一点点，他大哭大闹；玩具摆放不如意，他不依不饶……宝宝究竟是怎么了？是他太任性吗？面对他的“完美情结”，我们应该怎么办？
 

※追求完美，宝贝这是怎么了？※

 
某天，家里来了一位2岁半的小客人。对她来说，我还是个陌生人。这个谨慎型的宝宝一直用很警惕的眼神看我。于是，我只好离她远远的，不时通过手势、语言、表情逗她，以拉近与她的距离。好在茶几上的香蕉勾起了她的食欲，这使我有了一个速速接触她的好机会。我掰下她指定的一根香蕉，递给她。她喜滋滋地将香蕉交到妈妈手里，让妈妈给她剥皮。妈妈担心小家伙吃不完一根香蕉，剥开香蕉皮后顺手掰了一半给她。
 
没想到，妈妈这个小小的举动立刻引发了一场战争：小家伙不依不饶，哭得惊天动地。一开始，妈妈以为她嫌半个香蕉太少，赶紧把另外半个香蕉也递给她。可是，小家伙依然不领情，只见她一边哭，一边喊：“妈妈把香蕉变回去。”就算换一根完整的香蕉，小家伙也坚决不干。
 
原来，宝宝接受不了的是这根香蕉被掰成两半的事实。面对这个完全听不进去任何道理的宝贝，妈妈的尴尬与无奈可想而知。
 
类似的困境，相信很多家长都遭遇过，或者即将遭遇。小家伙为何会如此在意那根香蕉是否完整呢？这便是所谓的“完美敏感期”在作怪。大约在2～4岁左右，不少宝宝都会进入完美敏感期。进入完美敏感期的宝宝希望一切都完好无损，没有任何瑕疵；否则，他便难以接受。处在这个阶段的宝宝显得很“任性”，难以沟通，实在是有让人头大的感觉。
 
当然，2～4岁只是个大概的年龄范围，对于每个个体来说，他进入完美敏感期的年龄可能会不太一样，因此，完美敏感期不以年龄划分，而以宝宝的表现为判断的标准。
 

※宝宝有完美情结，好还是不好？※

 
宝宝的完美情结让我们头大。顺着他，我们可能担心宝宝养成任性的习惯；不顺着他，宝宝反应激烈，亲子间冲突迭起，我们又无能为力，也是一件令人头痛的事。因为此，我们可能会以为宝宝的完美情结实在是坏处多于好处。而实际上，宝宝的完美情结无所谓好与不好。追求完美，是宝宝心智发育到一定程度才会出现的一种行为。
 
一方面，宝宝发现了完美与缺憾之间的差异，这是一大进步。因为追求完美，他可能在做任何事情时都表现得更认真，更细致。
 
另一方面，因为追求完美，宝宝可能不懂得变通，在日常生活与游戏中表现得一根筋，缺乏灵活性。而他小时候的思维模式，处理问题的模式一旦形成习惯，对他未来的发展将会产生深刻的影响。
 
因此，恰当地应对宝宝的完美敏感期，巧妙地引导他的行为，对他有着深远的意义。处在完美敏感期的宝宝朝着哪个方向发展，更多地取决于我们如何应对与引导。
 
若我们懂宝宝的心思，顺应他这个阶段性的发展需求，顺势而为，技巧地引导宝宝，他的求完美就会朝着更有益于他成长的方向发展。
 
相反，若我们与宝宝对抗，宝宝求完美的心理需求得不到满足，他的内心会十分困扰，继而妨碍他的成长。又若我们出于好心，试图利用宝宝的完美情结，过度赏识与激发他的完美需求，那么，宝宝为了得到更多的认可与赏识，可能会极端地完美主义，这会让他活得很辛苦，很纠结，甚至为了讨父母欢心而失去自我，这就得不偿失了。
 

※请尊重他，而不要凭自己的想象去改造他※

 
面对一个处于完美敏感期的宝宝，我们可以尝试掌握一些技巧，协助他顺利度过这个阶段，并因此获得更多心灵的滋养，为成长积蓄能量：
 
首先，追求完美仅仅是个阶段性的问题，过了这个阶段，问题自然消除。
 
因此，当宝宝进入这个阶段时，我们没必要大惊小怪，甚至想当然地去改造他，引发他的对抗行为。相反，能满足的，我们可以尽量满足他，并尝试无条件地接纳他，随顺他。当我们不给予他对抗的能量，他自然也就不对抗，反而能更快速地度过这个阶段。这对亲子双方来说，都是更轻松的一种方式。举例来说，当宝宝接受不了一块缺了一角的饼干时，与其跟他纠缠，不如速速换给他一块完整的饼干。
 
其次，利用宝宝求完美的心理需求，我们可以在日常生活与游戏中，视情况引导他更认真地“工作”，让每一项任务都完成得更出色。
 
不过，在引导时，要将关注的重心放在过程，而不是结果。当宝宝能更多地享受这个趋于完美的过程时，他就没有压力，相反，他只有看到一切朝着更完美的方向发展的喜悦。而且，若我们也满腔热情参与到这个过程中，自然会以我们的实际行动给予他更多正面的积极的引导：“我看到这些玩具摆放得越来越整齐了。要是把这个小车放在那个位置呢？我觉得应该会更好，我们来试试……哈，果然更好了！”
 
当然，有的时候，当完美被破坏，宝宝反应激烈，而我们又无能为力时，不妨尝试换个思路来解决问题，让宝宝跟着转换思路。
 
比如，宝宝手里的饼干突然缺了一角，我们何不在他哭闹时传递给他一些新的信息：“你看，这是一块张大嘴的饼干，它说，它好想吃一个小孩。”这种不跟宝宝较劲的方式会调动宝宝的好奇心，他就可能对这块“张大嘴”的饼干感兴趣，并且在饼干吃他之前先把饼干消灭。如此，他就忘了先前的较劲，变得好说话了。
 
总之，完美情结的好与坏，只在一转念间。顺势而为，育儿路上就没有解决不了的难题。
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