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学会这几招让宝宝远离“电子保姆”

发布日期：2024-07-25 14:37:31编辑：秩名


没招儿了，塞个iPad给他？

 
网传“两岁半男孩玩1年iPad高度近视500°”虽然只是片面的流言，但大人“偷懒”而让3C产品成“保姆”已经不是新鲜事了。“电子保姆”究竟是利大于弊，还是弊大于利？当孩子深陷此道，该责备的仅仅是电子产品吗？若孩子迷恋上了电子产品，为人父母的又当如何呢？
 

※宝宝变成“电子族”，谁之过？※

 
不管是从新闻上，还是身边的故事，我们已经发现，迷恋上电子产品的孩子对其他事物的兴趣度往往急剧降低。有的孩子甚至只认智能手机或iPad，与小朋友游戏，没兴趣；户外玩耍，没兴趣；搭积木，没兴趣；阅读，没兴趣……凡事只要是离了智能手机或iPad，孩子便兴味索然，甚至会陷入一种神思游离的状态。
 
我亦看到过孩子唯iPad马首是瞻的较极端例子：每天早上，上幼儿园成了亲子间一场两败俱伤的“战斗”，孩子的条件只有一个——除非家长同意他带上iPad入园。家长实在搞不定孩子，只好推给幼儿园老师。结果，孩子的电子情结在幼儿园被老师暂时“管制”，虽然最终他迫于压力服从了老师，却从此犯上“幼儿园入园恐惧症”，同样得不偿失。
 
孩子变成“电子族”，究竟是谁的错？当然不是孩子的错，也不是智能手机和iPad的缘故，需要反思的恰恰是父母。当看到小小的孩童就能玩转手机、iPad，我们的脸上是不是曾有一丝得意之色？当孩子被电子产品稳住阵脚，留给我们一段自由自在的时光，是不是有暗自庆幸的感觉？当孩子从电子产品中获得一些收获（比如学会了几首儿歌），那更是让我们欢欣鼓舞，为我们把孩子交给这个无所不能的“保姆”找到了最有说服力的理由。是的，一切都看似那么美好。然而，当孩子痴迷上“电子保姆”，当众多问题一一呈现在我们面前，此时想要紧急刹车，事情就不那么容易了。
 

※“没招儿了”的前世今生※

 
意识到问题的严重性之后，我们往往把责任归于孩子“不听话”，于是，讲道理、苛责甚至体罚，凡能想到的办法都用了，却无济于事。一句话，我们变得没了招儿。“没招儿”的结果是，家长要求归要求，孩子痴迷归痴迷，二者南辕北辙，没有交集。要知道，让孩子养成一个习惯，理论上21天就足矣。俗话说：“习惯成自然”。自然的反应往往深入骨髓，为“潜意识”所支配。一旦被“潜意识”所接管，它便根深蒂固，难以驾驭。也因此，想要去除孩子的某个习惯，可就不是那么容易办到的事了。
 
当我们没招儿的时候，就会陷入“天人交战”的境地。一方面，我们无能为力；另一方面，却又心有不甘，总想要做点什么去改变这种状况。而孩子何其聪明，他有直指人心的本能，怎么可能不清楚父母的状况，又怎么可能轻易就服从父母呢？于是，脾气一来，我们无所不用其极，孩子因为恐惧，不得不服从我们。我们虽然暂时遏制住了孩子，但是，脾气一过去，我们就后悔，并反省——刚才那样处理问题，让孩子如此伤心，是不是有些过分呢？出于补偿心理，我们对孩子的要求就会暂时放松。我们前后处理问题的不一致性带给孩子的又是什么呢？是困惑、恐惧。因为困惑、恐惧，孩子会更加依赖他的“保姆”，从它身上寻求安慰与快乐，获得一种暂时的安全感。交战几次之后，孩子更是聪明地发现，只要抗争，他就可以如愿以偿。孩子的行为反而因为我们要求的不一致而被负面强化，而我们，将变得更加无能为力。
 

※“电子绝招”非使不可吗？※

 
考虑到“电子保姆”带来的众多问题，“电子绝招”虽然好使，却还是不使为妙。有的家长可能会一脸无辜地辩驳：“没办法，不使不行呀！别的招都不管用。”必须很不厚道地指出，这，只是一个借口，一个偷懒的借口，一个无所作为的借口。
 
又或许，有的家长可能会辩驳：“我的初衷很好呀！只不过想让他借此学点东西，没想到最后就变成这样了！”不否认这可能是一个理由。事实上，确实有不少既好玩又智能的软件，可以带给孩子许多。但我想说的是，养育孩子永远是个两害相权取其轻的过程。与其让孩子痴迷上电子产品，带来众多的问题（比如影响孩子社会化的进程，甚至导致孩子缩在虚拟世界而拒绝成长；影响孩子语言的发育，严重的可能导致孩子假性自闭），不如放弃它，给孩子一个更为纯粹的世界。
 
并不是说，不可以让孩子接触这些产品，但接触有个前提——我们要能够控制局面，而不是让孩子的迷恋主导局面。若我们确定自己可以收放自如，让孩子偶尔玩玩也未尝不可。但我们要知道，收放自如，可不是那么容易的事情。
 

※招招出击，陪伴宝宝远离电子保姆※

 
一旦孩子已经痴迷上电子产品，并且因此带来某些问题，便到了不得不下狠心解决问题的阶段。让孩子远离“电子保姆”，硬碰硬未必有效，还可能带来更多负面的影响。因此，智慧地处理这个问题十分重要。我们可以尝试以下的办法：
 
●就着孩子感兴趣的电子游戏顺势拓展，转移注意力
 
如孩子痴迷“愤怒的小鸟”，我们可以以游戏主题为中心，拓展与之相关的游戏。如，转换成手工活动，制作“愤怒的小鸟”；转化成绘画游戏，画一只“愤怒的小鸟”以及它的家，或与之相关的一切；转化成户外探险游戏，寻觅“愤怒的小鸟”的踪迹……
 
●将游戏搬到现实生活中
 
如准备积木、瓶瓶罐罐、废弃的盒子等，搭建各种建筑，让孩子成为那只“愤怒的小鸟”，去尽情地破坏。之后再过渡到建构、解构互相融合的游戏，甚至融入一些趣味科学探索的游戏，充分调动孩子的好奇心，让他因体验到游戏的乐趣而逐渐转换方向。
 
●安排更多有意思的亲子游戏，让孩子体验到其中的乐趣
 
这个做法的目的就是以新的习惯替换旧的习惯。孩子实际上非常容易满足，亲子游戏未必要很复杂，只要孩子喜欢，看似很“傻”的游戏，也会让他玩得不亦乐乎。
 
总之，我们可以利用孩子的喜好与特点，避免针尖对麦芒，顺势而为，化解冲突，转换方向，让孩子与“电子保姆”不再粘连，最终达到收放自如的境界。
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